Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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