I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
