Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
