she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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