Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize