that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You can't just leave with hair like that
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
