Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
