I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
