i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize