And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
