we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
