You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
