Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
