Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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