I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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