Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
