My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
