consequently i now know what mace tastes like
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My vagina is officially offended.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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