My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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