i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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