let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize