Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
