I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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