It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
