yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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