OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
be right there i have to get my cape
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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