Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
