I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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