Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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