we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
