did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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