he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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