question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
did i just pee glitter
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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