i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
