You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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