I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize