Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
