His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
