i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize