watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
