foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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