It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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