oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
