Welp...herpes.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
