im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Found the puke drawer
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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