Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
