I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
