Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
