I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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