I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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