come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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