stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
