Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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