So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize