I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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