Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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