try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
where are my eyebrows?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize