That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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