dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we made out on top of his cat.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
