Yo dont text me then not text me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
