He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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