white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
