i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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