i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
