Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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