Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
