I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
