ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize