Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
