I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
