What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
