Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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