i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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