why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
